So I just found about

So I just found about this :

Officials Probe Crash That Killed Aaliyah

A friend AIMed me the news, well actually he alluded to the incident. Me, having no idea what he was talking about was totally shocked. At first i thought he was fucking with me because he knows how much i adore her and the new album. Then the URL proof was legit.

Shit. Really bad. At dinner, I told my aunt here and she said, “Toi, tu as mal au coeur?” Which sounds just about right.

Me, I’m bad in the heart.

A few minutes after digesting the news, the track, “Are You that Somebody” came on in my playlist. And it’s such an upbeat and humourous song. And in fact her whole second album is so good cause it’s got so much humour. I’m listening it to it now; and now, it’s just so sad. And it’s equally bad because the album isn’t sad at all. But me, i’m really sad about it. This is the first time that an artist i am actively into has died. There are those who died well before i knew of them. And then there are those that have died after i was really into them, or at least past the time that their present work was rocking my world, so to speak. And then there’s the fact that she was 22. 22 is Tragic.

I listened to her first album here in paris about 5 years ago. I was particularly thrilled that i loved the new one here because i had this one really clear memory of walking down Rue Rivoli with “One in a Million” in my discman and i caught myself in a mirror (there are all these thin strips of mirror between the storefronts) full on dancing to “Hot Like Fire”. I felt kind of embarassed but i was mostly laughing to myself. And it was a damn hot july day to boot. I remembered this when i packed the CD in nyc. I remembered this when i heard about about the new one. I remembered this when i caught myself dancing at the bus stop listening to “Rock Da Boat” last week. I remebered it when the article sunk in. I wonder if i could dance to it with the same kind of abandon again. Hmm.. Not for awhile, i imagine. I even remember writing, “i’m one in a million you fuck” to some boy who broke my heart that same summer.

I figure it’s hit me so hard mostly because she’s been shooting into my ears for a large portion of my solo explorations of this alien city. And making me feel a little less lonely, and definitely a lot more funky. I’ll miss it. And i’ll miss all the albums she won’t get to make, the movies she won’t be able to be in, the hot guys she’ll won’t be able to date, all the gossip stories we won’t be able to trade… Silly things pop stars mean to me, i guess. But it was more really, there were all those songs on the metro, at the flea market. The time that guy followed me home on the bus, it was Aaliyah i was listening to when he interuptted me. I told him her name and he even wrote it down. I’ve given her mp3 to at least 10 poeple, a few even being frenchies that hadn’t heard of her. Just through the album, she’s been one of my few friends here. I’ll miss her.

Notes:

Aaliyah

One in a Million

Songs, prayer lift memory of Aaliyah [Detriot Free Press]

Artists Mourn Aaliyah [Rolling Stone]

The Aaliyah Remembrance Book

Ok – i had a

Ok – i had a great day at the flea market. I bought many things. But more importantly, here’s my first pass at taking pictures of the adventure. I am learning (when i actually download them) which ones are interesting, which ones are boring, and when i should have been snapping when i was futzing around instead. Oh putain! That’s french for “Oh fuck it!”

Enjoy, and it will open a new window…

You know when you just

You know when you just feel like you’re getting screwed by everyone. I’m being charged $3.00 by evil chase bank everytime i take money out here. The french don’t have these ridiculous fees, so chase compensated by charging some bullshit “International Fee”. It’s almost worse that Citibank doesn’t have it, because the trouble it would take me to change my account would just about equal the few hundred dollars i’ll be contrubiting to the chase charity fund.

Also, I’ve double paid my last MCI bill. I can’t find a number to call them anywhere. I think my subletters double paid my verizon bill, and are taking it out of the rent. The dollar keeps dropping so my paycheck is effectively shrinking every month. And i’m never going to get a god damn visa. I also had some disgusting chinese food which gave me headache and made me sleepy, but i didn’t realize you had to pay for rice separately so i spent my last itty bitty franc, and left my bank card at home so i can’t even buy a coffee.

i can’t wait for this day to be over.

You know one of those

You know one of those days when everything goes wrong? It’s worse when it’s in french.

Utter Bullshit CNN.com – U.S.

Utter Bullshit

CNN.com – U.S. cracks down on American travel to Cuba – August 15, 2001

Notable quotable:

U.S. President George W. Bush said July 13 he was tightening enforcement of the 39-year-old embargo, intended to pressure democratic changes on Cuban President Fidel Castro’s island.

Jeez – get over it dubya. Isn’t it enough to waste heaps of money on star wars? Wouldn’t you rather be playing golf or something? Oh that’s right, you have a quite a few anti-Castro cuban americans to please so you can pay back your brother for uhhh “democratically” electing you. What a load of crap.

This is so cute. Excerpted

This is so cute. Excerpted from an e-mail from my mom:

Even though I am sure that it was not my opinion you were seeking, I am still telling you that capitalizing is much better and easier to read. Also the reduced usage of the f… word particularly improves your writing.

aww.. moms, ya gotta love ‘em.

So my current project at work is to write (and edit, and design, and build) a user manual. It’s kinda fun just because i have never done it before. I can still be into my work without pledging allegiance to the company, right? Once you become an adult, the line between “looking at the bright side” and “selling out” get blurrier and blurrier…

If you ever find yourself writing a user manual, check out this article:

AskTog: How to Publish a Great User Manual. It’s quite good. And even if you’re not, it’s kinda interesting. Check it if you have a coupla minutes and some spare bandwidth.

Please Please PLEASE – download

Please Please PLEASE – download the version of Summertime i’ve posted today. It’s by Billy Stewart and is the perfect mix of jazz horns and soulful crooning. I find it fits incredibly well with a wednesday at the end of august. Well, it fits on any august day really.

Take it!

I also have another version of it by The Roots and Bobby Womack which i love as well. I’ll post that too when i get a chance. I have to do 3 weeks of work in the next three days, so i’m a touch distracted. I can’t complain, it’s my own fault. But i get these weird obsessions with songs where i download 10 different versions spanning 50 years and listen to them all in a row. I’ll post my “Angel of the Morning” tracks one of these days too.

Just returned from my two hour french lunch. This place rocks. I can’t believe i’m not as big as a house yet. In fact i’m managing to lose weight somehow. It must be all the mayonnaise [...puzzled...].

This is the first night

This is the first night i’ve felt sort of like a normal person in paris. If you happen to notice, i’m trying to start my sentences with capital letters. I stopped doing that for speed’s sake once i got myself involved in this whole internet fiasco. And then i just started liking the way it looked, small letters that is. But now i’m realizing that since you can’t easily double space between sentences in html, it’s damn hard to read. I’m still opposed to capitalizing proper nouns and such. But who knows!? I change my style every other second. let me know if you have an opinion one way or the other, i’m actually interested to know.

So yes, i’ve gotten myself a free internet connection. Shit’s still free on the web in france. Woo hoo. I was in new york this weekend, and man i’m so happy to be here. It was hot and the place stank to high heaven. But more to the point, it is just an amazingly beautiful place here. The whole time i was in the city (note: i always refer to new york city as “the city”. there is just no other “the city”) i felt like i was in a slum or something: The trash on the curbs, the crumbling gargoyles, all the bland 6 story walk-ups. There just isn’t a comparison. My building is like 400 years old! and it’s beautiful! When i first moved to new york from LA, i was at a frat party and met this guy who had just come from london. we were talking about our first impressions of the city.

All i could say was, “It’s so old.”

And he was like, “Really? I find it all so new.”

I get it now. But unlike LA, the city is in utter disrepair. It’s sad, really. Buildings can last; I’ve seen proof.

I also gotten my bed and closet/mirror contraption delivered from ikea today. a couple notes on ikea. First, i went there and of course it is in a huge suburb of paris, which looks like every suburb i’ve seen in the states. Weird. It’s also in Roissy. Which is where the crazy S&M mansion in The Story of O is. What a freakin’ letdown. It’s a huge suburb with six lane streets and no sidewalk! Note two is that the entire store is exactly the same as the one in the states: all the merchandise, every single little pretend kitchen they’ve got. Everything! Except for the prices, those are much lower. heh heh.

So, yes, here i am at home, feeling like a normal human being. When i was back in the city, i visited my old place to see my little kitty and pick up my winter clothes and some odds and ends. It was really traumatic. The subletters have rearranged everything, and i must admit it looks pretty nice. I’ve just got no eye for spatial arrangements. If there’s a job i’d be absolutely the worst at, it’d be interior decorating. But anyway, it looked nice, and it really spooked me. I love that apartment. And being there, seeing that couple all happy and settled took the breath out of me. I sat in the windowsill and thought about everything i had hoped for when i first moved in there. For like a month i thought i had everything. I had the a job that was appropriately challenging and appropriately well-paid, a man i could say anything to, an apartment i loved, i had even quit smoking. And then one by one everything began to fall apart. And sitting there in my apartment that was someone else’s, in a city that was no longer mine… this overwhelming sense of failure came over me. I walked over to the other window in (what used to be) my bedroom and watched the neighborhood kids play basketball. A pastime i unthinkingly made a habit in times of depression, boredom, fatigue, and just plain mind numbing zen. It was hard. They say you should never look back, and i can understand why.

feeling at home, and loving my camera

you know – i have

you know – i have this recurring fear that people are making fun of me all the time. i think this is because i can’t understand what they’re saying. hmmm… or maybe i’m just self-centered.

more later.

Best search term so far:

Best search term so far:

mean popular kids on google

I don’t see my self showing up here, must be at the very end. But this is curious. I wonder what this person was looking for.

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