Nil by Mouth

alors! here in paris it

alors!

here in paris it is cloudy and damp, and i’ve got lots to report. things have been hectic here as you can imagine. what with the jetlag, work, and all that cheese. but don’t worry – i’ve even been taking notes. i will be looking at an apartment today at 1pm, so hopefully that will work out. i am currently in a little room in my aunt’s apartment in the tres swank 16th arrondissement. an arrondissement is sort of like a neighborhood. they are all numbered. but in ordinary conversation is seems people refer to their neighborhood with a name, not a number. but in real estate, it’s all numbers buddy.

so let’s begin at the beginning shall we…

the journey was pretty insane. i haven’t been up for so many hours in a row (apx 40) while doing so much since i was at burning man (and even then it was with the help of some substances). before getting on the plane i managed to have some liquid nitrogen treatments on my feet (don’t ask), a run-in with my HMO (those bastards), and nice big fight with the ex (bleh).

turns out july 16th/17th is a rather ominous day to travel. on this date, in 1998 was the infamous TWA flight 800 (to paris no less) .. and in 1999 the ill-fated jfk jr flight. the lady at the flight window asked me for the name and number of an emergency contact.

puzzled, i was like, “Why?”.

she replied, “You know, just in case.”

“In case we crash into the ocean, you mean?”

“No, of course not…”

on the plane finally. you know i’ve always had this fascination with grounds crew guys. they seem so tough and cool, walking around in the midst of all those monstrous planes without a second thought. their outfits are soooo cute too. especially in the summer when they’re all in shorts in work boots. i’ve always wanted to write a story about a ground crew guy. if only to be able to learn what the day is like for them. anyway, i had a funny exchange with one of them when the plane was sitting at the gate. me, in fully PMSing mode and all sad and nervous about my trip and leaving and the fight i had, i was kind of crying and looking out the window. now i didn’t think anyone on the ground can actually see in those windows. anyway one of the guys down there was waving and making a tears motion with his hands and then a “why” motion. of course, i was totally mortified. i made an “oh nothing” motion and hid. it was funny. he kept waving every time i peeked out of the window. that could be the beginning of a beautiful romance… but in a few minutes we all took off for another continent, and that was that.

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so i just returned from looking at the apartment. it was really cute. so very french in such a cute french neighborhood. oh zeee french cuteness. look how cute! (don’t worry there are windows now). i think i will get it – which is a huge stroke of luck for all you freeloaders coming to stay with me. too bad i can only have it until january, tho.

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so in other news, it was all i could do to not smoke while having a cafe this morning. lucky for my lungs, i am so embarrassed of my french that i avoid speaking to strangers at all costs and did not bum a smoke. unfortunately it’s not that easy at work. speaking of, there is a guy who reeks like you would not believe. it is unreal how one guy can smell up an entire office. we are moving to a new office next week and just had a meeting to choose desks. i didn’t say much. do you think it would be rude to ask to be seated as far away from him as possible? it is so bad it makes me nauseous!

i will post more soon.

a tout a l’huere mes amis!

• Jul 19