Yes it has been 2 weeks since you heard from me, and no I don’t really have anything to say yet, but I must bump off that post about the shit-fuck freezing rain, because it is now officially a hundred fucking degrees.
Someone finally turned to me and said “Hot enough for ya?” to me. In fact I heard the whole city scream it in a collective spasm of frustration.
No longer is the weather a backdrop to my emotional wobbles. It’s not a topic to bring up when there’s nothing left to say. It’s the horseman of the fucking apocalypse. If I were Christian I’d go to Church. If I were a Muslim I’d get on a plane to Mecca, if I were a better Jew I might feel guilty about not being a better Jew. Instead of all that, I will just look back on this year as the time when even the weather decided to choose sides. And of course, he chose evil. I guess you can’t blame him, that’s where all the money and glamour is. The good side just has a bunch of broke, ignored, frustrated do-gooders. Evil has the top shelf gin and those nice thick ice cubes that keep the drink cold for as long as it takes. Fuckers.
But forget the good ice cubes and the smooth gin, we can still get sauced up on the crap stuff. Following is the recipe for my latest drink concoction. Made expressly for the park on summer nights, especially when listening to live music.
The Mexican Hound™
- Family Size Plastic Bottle of Pink Grapefruit Juice (or 2)
- Half a bottle of leftover tequila chilled (or the whole bottle, or 2)
- Limes (one, six, however you like it muchacho)
- Ice (lots, in fact buy a bag and one of those little coolers – but don’t take it to Summerstage)
1. Pour a third to one half of the juice into a pitcher. Set aside.
2. Pour tequila into remainder of Grapefruit juice in orginal packaging.
3. Slice up limes. Sqeeze and toss ‘em in to Graprfruit juice bottle.
4. Toss in some ice if you are serving immediately.
5. Screw back cap. Shake vigorously. Fucking vigorously, you know you want to you dirty bastard.
6. Taste. Adjust juice, licker, limes, ice as needed.
6. Go to park with friends. Pour over ice and proceed to come up with religious subtexts for the weather, while intermittently commenting on how refreshing your drink is.
Serves 2-4 (make two bottles – you won’t be sorry).
New Angeles Monthly, June 2008
Weekend America, March 30, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 13, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 6, 2008
Nil by Mouth is written by Neille Ilel. Neille is a writer, reporter and user interface specialist in Los Angeles. If you think that's a lot, she's also got a host of meandering sidelines including improv comedy, tennis, cooking, drawing and thinking about learning to play the guitar.
Nil is her given name. It's a long story.
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