I’m thinking maybe it’s that times article just linked to about the unusually greyness of this winter in nyc is giving license to my previous blahs to become all out blues. Maybe it’s that I can’t help feeling completely lost at sea in my so-called professional life. Don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not that I *want* to work or anything, it’s more that the general purposelessness is hard to muscle through everyday. I narrowly avoided a third existential crisis today by pulling out all the books from my bookshelf that I either never read or never finished, and moved them to the new bookshelf I put up yesterday.
The new bookshelf is right in the front room. It’s one of the first things you see when you walk into the apartment. From a feng shui point of view this is a very important spot. It sets the tone for the all the chi in the apartment. Now I haven’t decided if having to face three shelves of unfinished books is going to be a good impetus for reading all of them (and not running up my credit card at the bookstore), or if I’ll walk in and twice a day be reminded that I’ve been 150 pages away from finishing Gravity’s Rainbow for over four years and the thought of reading one more page is impossible to bear. What do you think: Is it a noble goal to finish all the books you started (or bought on a whim and then put aside indefinitely), or should one just accept that some things just weren’t meant to be?
And why is it that I feel slightly guilty about having books in my shelf that I haven’t finished. Like I’m claiming to have read things I haven’t. Like I’m pretending to be smarter than I really am. Like it’s a big scam to the world. Like the world is making weekly visits my bookshelf anyway.
Right now I’m alternating between A Theory of Semiotics that dear Steve from Seattle, WA sent over and The Black Book which I borrowed from my mom (which I also happened to give her for her birthday last year) and i can’t quite get into. And then I’m playing with the idea of taking a stab at something on the Bookshelf of Lost Dreams. In the spirit of inter-activity let’s let you the readers decide. Following is a partial list of the contents of my unfinished books bookshelf. Vote early. Vote often.
New Angeles Monthly, June 2008
Weekend America, March 30, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 13, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 6, 2008
Nil by Mouth is written by Neille Ilel. Neille is a writer, reporter and user interface specialist in Los Angeles. If you think that's a lot, she's also got a host of meandering sidelines including improv comedy, tennis, cooking, drawing and thinking about learning to play the guitar.
Nil is her given name. It's a long story.
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