yesterday i bought 40 lbs of potting soil and repotted 3 of my plants who were outgrowing their meager dwellings. i heard someone say that planting and gardening requires hope and implies permanence. that’s probably why i’ve been putting it off so long. but i just couldn’t stand the guilt of seeing those poor things all scrunched up anymore.
i have basil, dill, cilantro, catgrass, catnip, an ordinary green thing, and one other herb i can’t remember. i got them all (except for the anonymous green one) as martha stewart kits from Kmart. they’re pretty awesome – everything took off right away. i bought them of course before the big ax came down at the office. now i am loath to make my place any nicer in case i have to leave for one reason or another.
it was either some weird premonition or just yer garden variety jewish pessimism, but i didn’t decorate or my place for months. i had this fear, because it’s so nice, i wouldn’t be able to keep it.
my father does not understand how an a place can be so important. he says, “Why are you so attached to an apartment? Another one will come along.” clearly he does not live in nyc. clearly he never has. clearly. people here kill for an apartment. and i understand the sentiment! for the first time since i graduated, i found a place that i genuinely love. so much light, nice neighbors, kids playing on the street, a great local bar, and NO roommates. i’ve lived in 5 nyc apts (and then a handful of dorm rooms but those don’t count):
1. a converted closet in the east village. i don’t know how i survived this one.
2. a tenement-like place in williamsburg. my room served double duty as a hallway.
3. a small 1 bedroom in south williamsburg. stoop belonged to crack dealers, girl next door shot in stairwell once.
4. massive loft above garbage recycling way station in dumbo. revolving door of weird roommates with the one staple being an unemployed german drummer. did i mention there were no walls?
anyway – the kiss of life in the city i realized was liking where you lived. even now when everything sucks, i can be in my own little haven… but is it worth everything sucking to have a little haven?
btw my horoscope just told me to see a shrink
Free Will Astrology ~ Horoscope-Capricorn
sheesh!
New Angeles Monthly, June 2008
Weekend America, March 30, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 13, 2008
Los Angeles Times, March 6, 2008
Nil by Mouth is written by Neille Ilel. Neille is a writer, reporter and user interface specialist in Los Angeles. If you think that's a lot, she's also got a host of meandering sidelines including improv comedy, tennis, cooking, drawing and thinking about learning to play the guitar.
Nil is her given name. It's a long story.
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